That's when you crack a 10am beer
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
