Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
