So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
