There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
