Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
