You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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