he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
