My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This house was built for laser tag.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
