remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
