Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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