when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
