let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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