I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
