i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
