Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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