We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
