How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
