you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
