She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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