Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
