just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
