Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
