awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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