I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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