Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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