I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
