i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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