He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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