I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize