So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
