is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
