omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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