i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
