How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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