dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize