:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
