She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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