You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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