I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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