the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
