I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
