girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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