Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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