When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize