i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I fill condoms, not promises.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
