I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
