Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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