in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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