Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
