Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
