first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
