That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize