Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
