Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
