Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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