i just wanna soil my oats bro
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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