Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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