And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
