You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
