I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
