Three words: puerto rican gang bang
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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