I'm jealous of your bromance
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
