hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
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Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
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Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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