Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
