OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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